So I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't masturbate till next Tuesday.

But first some\ context: I am a female chronic masturbator. Like I have to do it everyday several times a day. Like i've broken 3 vibrators (of a semi high- high quality) from overuse.
To go to bed I have to do it until I get tired. Thats the only way I can go to sleep unless I get sleepy.

Anyway, I have to do this thing all the time. It's a problem but not so much that I can't function. I've never had to do it in a bathroom at school because I couldn't concentrate.

So back to the issue: I haven't done it in three days. Monday went by in a blur and I was tired. Tuesday I found myself unconsciously turning the fan on high (like i normally do) so my roommates can't hear my vibrator. I stopped as I was getting back into bed and realized I was turning the fan on for no reason!

So right now i'm kinda jumpy. I'm staying away from fanfiction and trying not to watch any porn. But at the same time the guy above me is banging his girlfriend at 3:30 am and I can't focus. I feel like i'm going insane.

It's funy because my sex drive has always been unnaturally high. But I had it under some form of control. When DA is around I end up not having to worry about it so much- we end up to the point where I don't want to really do anything.

But the question you may be askin yourself: Why? Why the fuck would I write about this and secondly; why would I do it? Why make the pact when I know I need to do this?

Well. I haven't had sex since Halloween. And when I was recently home since then I had no car. So i couldn't get some alone time with DA. It was also the time after my period which I see a significant peak in my obsession. I feel like Jason Hartnet from 40 Days and 40 nights when he didn't have sex for a stretch. He was getting hard ever few seconds and sweaty. Well I feel like that after 3 days. Sweet shit. I feel like I'm going to end up like the chick rom Black Snake Moan and abduct a man into my room.

As for the the why: I' doing this because when I do get to see Da again i'll have not done anything and it will make it twenty times betters. Not that he's bad...lol.

I've got goosebumops. And i'm jumpy and antsy. Only a few more days to go. If i could just go to bed right now.

Here's hoping my dreams don't turn to sex. When they do I might not make it. The last time I went without any me time (I was sick or something) and I woke up with the female equivalent of a wet dream. Technically.... I wouldn't be breaking my pact if I had a wet dream right?

Just wrote one of the best papers i've ever written. I'm freaking excited.

But if I hear another words about fucking Oroonoko i'll kill myself and return from the dark place I end up and eat them.

it's neopets 10th birthday. Has it really been that long? Have mercy.

The site has changed a lot since I was on- it use to be mostly 12 and up with kids here and there. The plots were hard, shit was difficult and winning stuff felt good. Now that Nickeloden and Viacom own NP its not so fun anymore. The latest plot is a click one, and is so simple a first grader could do it. *sigh* I remember the first plot I played--- Lost Desert and you had puzzles. Had to find things different throughout the world. A whole lot of shit. lol. Even when the site started to change they still had the Altador Cup. Those weeks in summer are amazing, and I end up playing tons. This year all the hard work was a let down- people would out hours into making rank "All Star" and someone who played less ended up with more points than them. Or about the same. The prizes were rushed and nothing was worth it.

But I digress.

I can't really believe it but after like four or five years Dre went home. Like home with his crazy momma home. I dropped him off there in confusion and he was being so damn secretive...but he's at fucking home. Anyone who...doesn't get why this is a big deal:

His mom is crazy. She beat him with a bat, tried to stab him, and who Eric says is partially resposible for Dre turning out the way he did. (When told this she replied he was "boog" (is that right? lol) and a bad friend and thats why Dre ended up where he did).

Anyway, his old house number which I could never forget but confuses me popped up on my phone and well i'm at a loss. I'm happy he's back there because he's no longer in the street but...oh well. I'll take what I can get.

I keep asking why he choose to leave where he was staying and he says that he and Al got into a fight. That he dislikes him cuz he's stupid. I have to wonder- what could make him hate this person he's been getting beat for (long story) and going to jail for...seriously.

Halloween was fun- got drunk in Ann Arbor at a random house with friends. Its amazing--you can just walk into any house on a block, not know the people, and drink their beer. Coolness.

So yeah. Hopefully everything works out. I'm just fucking sick of all this up and down.
~Brit

p.s. Next semester I am taking three english classes, a chemistry class and a Journalism class. Death awaits.